This funny story is an oldie but goodie – please enjoy!

How to Have an Empty Attic:

1.  Have a super-mouse infestation from leaving an open bag of field corn in the garage.

2.  Conquer said super-mice.

3.  Find rat-turds when you go up to retrieve the Christmas Tree.

4.  Buy new tree and refuse to go in attic for six months.

5.  Make appointment to have a garage sale with neighbor because she’s an expert and the very idea of selling or bartering makes you want to drink…heavily.

6.  On a 102 degree day, unload entire contents of attic.  (The temperature is very important!)

7. Shop vac the rat-turds and admire the empty beauty of it all.  Relax till lunch.  Have a taco.

8. Sort the crap into five piles:  Stays Downstairs, Un-Recyclable Garbage, Recyclable Garbage, Garage Sale, Returning to Attic….remembering the temperature up there.

9.  Keep only those treasures that are worth a trip back into a bazillion-degree attic.

10.  Restock attic, garage sale everything else.

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